Terrace Club Blues

Tag: writing

  • The Best Unis in Baseball

    The Best Unis in Baseball

    I wish the record was looking a little bit better for my first (of what I hope to be many) pinch hit AB of the year, but I am thrilled to be back!

    The play on the field hasn’t been great this year (though it sure is wild how good back-to-back can make you feel) so I’m gonna take this (6-9, nice) moment to share a take that is truly in the spirit of this blog — something that is not all negative. In fact, its mostly positive! And when I saw a slew of new City Connect uniforms get officially unveiled this week, I knew it was time that someone said it. 

    The Mariners have the best uniform set in baseball. 

    A TLDR for people who are here strictly to read about baseball

    – Northwest green is the best color in sports

    – Navy blue is the best neutral uniform color

    – The Steelheads uniforms are the cleanest of any throwback in the league.

    – The only reasonable argument against the Ms uniform set is that the current City Connects are atrocious. 

    I know that “best in baseball” is a big statement! I will hear reasonable arguments in favor of the Yankees or Dodgers (but not the Cardinals) for teams who have truly classic uniforms, but I still think the Ms do it best. 

    On Northwest Green

    The northwest green jersey is the best uniform top in all of sports. It’s a perfect color that represents its team and its place as well as any you can think of. 

    It’s timeless in a way that most things started in the 90s are not. The northwest green top debuted in 1993 – a time when people didn’t know a lot about Seattle. But as soon as Junior and the M’s put that uniform on, they were the shit. As Jon Bois put it:

    “The Mariners were the coolest team in baseball. In a time when domes were still cool they played in the King Dome, which sat in the shadow of the Cascades and in the middle of a mysterious distant city whose cultural exports were computer stuff, Nirvana, and the Space Needle… A far away futuristic paradise.”

    Choosing a shade of green leaning-teal was a very 90s choice. But it made sense for the Seattle Mariners – a pop of futuristic green up against the deep blue of the ocean. Something that felt a little out there for everyone else but just right for folks in the Pacific Northwest. 

    Everyone else bailed on their 90s looks. The Dbacks, Marlins, and (Devil)Rays – the teams who I think had the most 90s coded color schemes in the 90s and early 2000s – all bailed in favor of branding that still screams 2008. But, the Mariners always kept northwest green in the mix. And, while the jersey did get shelved for a few years, both good eras of Ms baseball have come with the boys in northwest green. I find it fitting that the drought was ended in this glorious jersey. 

    If you’re Gen X, Z, or a Millennial and you grew up in the PNW you have northwest green in your closet and it looks good whenever you put it on. There aren’t many things that launched in 1993 that you can consider timeless, but the Mariners gave us something that is. When you see that color you think of Seattle and if you watch baseball you can draw a straight line straight from Griffey, Edgar and A-Rod to Julio, JP, and Cal. 

    Navy Blue – Simple is Best

    No waxing poetically on navy blue. I think It’s the best neutral uniform color. Black is overdone in sports (more on that later) and navy is both easy on the eyes and representative of the city. It makes sense given the maritime based team name and the color of the water just a few hundred yards from the stadium.

    Having a loud primary color as your main color puts you at a big disadvantage. Using navy as the primary color lets northwest green shine. “Seattle” in silver looks great against the navy, and while I do miss the road grays, I’m never mad that I get to see the navy tops all of the time.

    An Ode to a Classic

    Baseball has always done a middling job of honoring the Negro leagues and the Black teams and players from that era who were not allowed in the major leagues. I’m thrilled that the Mariners have decided to included the Steelheads uniform as part of their full-time rotation because I think it is a sustained, good faith effort to honor their contribution to baseball in the Pacific Northwest.

    Also, they are absolutely fire. They allow the Ms to tastefully depart from the core color scheme in a way that makes sense (to honor a past team from our region) while really highlighting what made uniforms from that era shine. Bold block lettering, thick piping, off-white–I love them. And I love when a throwback isn’t just for a special occasion. 

    Not Connected 

    Remember, this take is mostly not negative. 

    I think the Mariner’s current City Connect uniforms are trash. 

    Black baseball pants shouldn’t be on a professional baseball field (or on any baseball field if a team wants to look good), and they make absolutely NO sense for the Mariners. 

    First and foremost black isn’t in the color palette for any iteration of the Mariners. I’m not a fan of uniforms outside the color scheme unless it makes sense.  I actually really like the idea behind the City Connect uniforms across sports, and think it has been done well a few times: Boston RedSox green monster jerseys – fantastic, Miami Heat “Miami Vice” uniforms – very fun, Trailblazers PDX carpet jerseys – amazing.

    But if you’re doing it just to do it. I’m not for it. Oregon and Nike started using colors liberally in uniforms during the early 2000s and it has permeated all of sports. When teams started mixing black into their uniforms when it wasn’t part of their color scheme, legendary sports uniform writer Paul Lukas dubbed this “black for blacks sake,” and I think that is exactly what is going on here. Someone at Nike wanted to get black into the M’s City Connects because it’s cool and because they are lazy. It’s ugly and it makes a pretty good jersey look silly. 

    I will note that the official uniform description says that black is included to honor the Seattle Steelheads (who didn’t wear black pants from what I can find). Suuuuuuuure. IF that is truly why black was included in this uniform, then I think it was well intentioned but poorly executed. Now that we are wearing the actual Steelheads uniforms surely we don’t need the black pants anymore. Right?!

    Finally, as my brother (the primary author here at TCB) pointed out, this uniform makes them look like scuba divers–or as he put it–literal mariners… Last time I checked, we don’t want the baseball team looking like they are moving through water, but maybe that is just me. 

    In Summary

    I’d also be remiss to not make any mention of the discontinued Sunday crème uniforms. They were fine. I love a cream colored uni, but I never really understood yellow on cream and I prefer the Steelheads look. 

    Anyway, the Mariners current uniform set is elite. The best in baseball despite having one big miss. I wish they would wear the northwest green top more often (and at home!), and I hope they get new City Connect uniforms next year that don’t suck. Look good, feel good, play good. 

    -DB

  • Small Sample, Large Take

    Small Sample, Large Take

    And Medium Sized Sunday Post (1-2)

    This afternoon I got a text from my dad that read “I have an early Mariner take”. 

    Alright, okay. Here we go!

    My dad, although getting older, (not yet grumpier which I’m grateful for) remains steadfast in his reliability for oracle like hot hitters. Which, mathematically, also come with occasional misses.

    So, when I told him I’d call in a sec to listen in, I wasn’t sure which direction we would land.

    Echos of the World Baseball Classic

    I was hoping to never write about it, and to never hear about it again, but here we are.

    Someone tweeted a few weeks back, sometime before the semi-finals, the real losers of the WBC were the Seattle Mariners. After all, Gabe Speier performed poorly for team USA, Josh Naylor provided sluggish production as captain of team Canada, and Geno Suarez, who we let walk in Free Agency became the eventual centerpiece to Venezuela’s well earned championship.

    But the real Mariners adjacent storyline of the WBC was the Cal & Randy handshake debacle which, as we’re well aware, was plastered all over national media. We’ll never know exactly what went down, how & why— but we do know it was made out to be a massive deal, whether it actually was or not.

    ~

    I gave my dad a ring.

    “Cal doesn’t look right” he said. Not just his timing in the box, but his body language overall.

    “And Randy… might be a problem”.

    Regarding Cal…

    Obviously this early in the season stats do not matter. Cal going 1 for 16 or whatever it may be is not concerning. When it comes to baseball statistics, Cal will be fine. The part I do agree with my dad on is that Cal’s (demeanor, body language, aura, whatever) does not look right. The inside joke in my household right now is that “Cal got the ick about himself” — surely this is slightly embellished, but our eyes do not deceive us.

    Regarding Randy…

    In Saturday’s early season game against the Guardians Arozarena had 2 noticeable teammate “red flags”. One of them came in the 7th inning when a fly ball hung up in the left center gap. Julio and Randy both drifted over into outfielder “grey-zone” and eventually collided as Julio made the catch to secure the out. Our two Latino kings briefly exchanged some words during the interaction and Randy appeared visibly annoyed at the supposed miscommunication. Annoyed at, from what we know, one of his closest friends on the team.

    Later in the game, during the bottom of the 10th inning, Randy was late to post on 2nd base as the assumed ghost runner— resulting in a pitch clock violation on lead-off batter Brenden Donovan, costing a strike before the first pitch was thrown.

    Okay… So What?

    What to make of this— I’m not sure. I hope it’s still a nothing burger. A 10-2 win tonight could be the start of putting it all to bed. Honestly, I think the guys will be fine. But I also resonate with my dad’s instincts a bit.

    If Cal really did tell Randy not to initiate a handshake in the USA vs. Mexico game, it’d be really lame of Randy to hold onto some kind of negative energy (and to say the things he said). On the other hand, I like Randy a lot and I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Cal should have handled things differently.

    Regardless, anytime we see negativity manifest on the field, even if it’s ridiculously early, or in the form of a large take with a small sample size, it’s certainly worth talking about. At the same time, I hope we won’t have to going forward.

    The time to be great is now.

    Let’s get after it,

    NJB

  • Pinch Hit At Bat #1 

    Pinch Hit At Bat #1 

    It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got: In Defense of Julio—

    When my brother first shared that he was going to write about the M’s this year, naturally, my first thought was, “I’m so proud that my little brother is pouring his time and talent into something that we both love.” 

    Okay, okay, okay. That wasn’t my first thought (but I swear it was one of the first).  As someone who played in a bunch of those games he was forced to watch when we were kids, someone who LOVES baseball, and someone who tends to think the glass is half full, I love the idea of not-so-negative Mariners takes. So my honest first thought was, “I can’t wait to pinch hit.”

    Serendipitously, the topic for my first appearance presented itself to me a few days before I found out it was my time to write. In one day, I watched, read, and heard three separate Julio takes that I didn’t like. Three not-so-positive Julio takes. 

    Julio’s Contract

    A midday texter on Bump and Stacy (as a core millennial, I love the radio) said Julio’s contract is bad, an opinion I know is shared by others in the Mariners fandom. I completely disagree! 

    I think people balk when they hear the big number; Julio could earn up to $470 million over the course of his deal. But really, his deal is soooooo team friendly. His base annual average value (AAV) is just under $17.5 million which is only the 76th highest AAV in the MLB. A few guys with higher AAV than Julio: 

    – Wilson Contreras (STL)

    – Jung Hoo Lee (SF)

    – Trevor Story (BOS)

    Nothing against any of those guys, all of whom are at different parts of their career and are or were good to great players. My point is that in base salary, Julio is making Jung Hoo Lee money, not Mookie Betts money. The only way Julio gets into the $30 million per year range is if he is consistently making All-Star games and finishing high in MVP voting, at which point we certainly don’t need to have this conversation. 

    Another way to look at it, Julio’s 162 game average WAR is 6.1 according to Baseball Reference (his IRL average over the course of his first 3 seasons is 5.3). Dollar per WAR numbers have been all over the place in the last handfull of years, but data suggests it comes in somewhere between $4.6 million and $9.3 million per projected WAR. Let’s take the midpoint at call it $7 million per WAR per season. That means per 162 games Julio is worth ~$42 million per year. If we use his actual average, that still says he has been worth ~$37 million per year so far. Oh, also he plays in one of the worst hitters parks in baseball and he is 24 years old. 24! 

    And because I love a reference point, here are a few other guys and their 162 game average WAR: 

    – Ronald Acuna Jr. (5.8)

    – Luis Robert Jr. (4.6)

    – Juan Soto (6.2) 

    – Kyle Tucker (5.9)

    – Fernando Tatis Jr. (6.8)

    I know that WAR isn’t the be all end all of comparing players, but it is one of the better, holistic stats we have to see how a player compares to their peers, and this comparison makes Julio look like a bargain.  

    Lastly, because I earn my keep by thinking about politics, policy, and the economy, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention inflation and the time value of money. To oversimplify, a dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow, and because Julio signed a 12-year extension, that means Julio is essentially getting paid 2022 wages in 2032. If inflation for the next seven years is the same as it was the last seven years, Julio’s $17.5 million in 2032 will only be worth around $14 million in today’s dollars, making him even more of a bargain. In 2032 Julio will be 31.  

    Julio’s Profile 

    This Reddit post got me thinking about Julio’s profile as a hitter. This post wasn’t necessarily negative, but it wasn’t positive (he hit much better since this post), and then this post popped up on Sunday, suggesting that Julio “isn’t him” — which is certainly negative. My take on all of this is that y’all are thinking too hard about it! 

    I am not anti-analytics; I’m a data guy. I love all of the data and information we have access to in 2025 (both in baseball and in everything else), but one thing that easy access to data does is make everyone think they are an expert (I know I just made an argument about 162 game average WAR which makes me a little bit of a hypocrite, but stay with me). I think Julio’s “profile” is less complicated if you get out of the data and remember that this is a game where one guy throws the ball and another guy hits the ball. 

    I think the reason that Julio’s profile over the years is so confusing is because he’s been constantly tinkering with both his swing and his approach, which has resulted in some weird patterns in in the advanced data. The thing is, Julio is a vibes guy, an elite athlete who is at his best when he isn’t thinking too much. 21-year old, electric factory, good vibes only Julio is peak Julio. The dude plays best when he isn’t thinking too much, and I think the Dan Wilson regime is pushing him in that direction. 

    Everyone, including those two Reddit posters, is pointing to the advanced stats to tell me what is wrong with Julio. My eyes tell me that he is a dude with elite bat speed and bad swing decision who is a little late a little too often. But the fact that Dan and Edgar appear to be leaning in to who Julio is as a player is a good sign. They are encouraging him to let it eat early in the count and I think that is a good thing. I want Julio taking hacks at pitches in the zone, whenever possible. 

    If there is one thing I’d love to see from Julio, it would be to learn from his fellow countryman Fernando Tatis Jr. this year during WBC play and mess around with a toe stride. If you look at Tatis’ swing from 2024 to 2025 you can see that he took away the leg kick in favor of setting his foot on the ground before the pticher releases — it helps you be early and I think Julio has plenty of bat speed to compensate for the shorter stride.   

    Who you got? 

    Instagram showed me a video of someone saying they would take Pete Crow-Armstrong over Julio if they started a team today. Which is, of course, a very fair take given that PCA is playing out of his mind right now. However, the take was delivered like it wasn’t EVEN A QUESTION, and I saw people in the comments who claim to be M’s fans that agreed! WHAT?! That’s our guy.  

    I think our collective expectations as a fanbase have gotten in the way of appreciating our guy. A guy who wants to be here. Think about it, he’s a home-grown hitter who signed a 12-year contract to play half of his games for his peak production years in MLB’s worst offensive park when he was 22. So many of our great athletes in Seattle have asked to leave: A-Rod, Junior, Russel Wilson. Shit so many of our good athletes have asked to leave: DK, Geno, Jewel Lloyd.

    My point is–and I say this with all due respect to Ichiro, Edgar, Sub Bird, Marshawn, Clint Dempsey, GP, Gus Williams, and anyone else who put on for Seattle–I think Julio still has a chance to be the greatest athlete in Seattle sports history. 

    Imagine if Julio goes on one of his absolutely nuclear heaters in September… or OCTOBER. He has that shit in him, and if he does, or even comes close, and the M’s win a World Series Julio goes to the top of the list. And yes, I know, this is Cal’s team, but I promise there is enough room for both of them at the top. We get so caught up looking around the league, making comparisons, that we forget to enjoy what is right in front of us. Even if he doesn’t ever maximize his potential (because of trash ownership, or injuries, or bad luck, or whatever), I’m going to soak up the sun and enjoy one of the most fun, good-spirited, dynamic athletes we’ve ever seen in the PNW. 

    -DB 

    **Editors note: thank you so much for doing this bro— I love, learn from, and appreciate you everyday – NJB**

  • A Few Flowers for Blowers

    A Few Flowers for Blowers

    Some Center-Cut, Barreled-Up Food for Thought (12-10)

    While not sponsored by the EQC tracer (nor the McDelivery SuperMo) I am writing this amidst spending some quality brother time with one of my favorite people in the whole world, CJ Blowers, son of former Ms player and color commentator Mike Blowers, and salt-of-the-earth wonder woman, Nicole Blowers.

    The much needed hangout sparked an impulse in me to shine a quick light on how important broadcasting is in the sport of baseball— and just how amazing it is to see and hear how much Blowers was and is appreciated by lifelong Mariners fans.

    When I first rack my brain, Mike has always just been my friend’s dad— a dad who, with the unwavering help of Nicole, always provided for his kids (and often his kid’s friends), both while playing and broadcasting, despite it meaning constant roadtrips away from the family and long hours at the park during home-stands

    But when I think about it more, especially now that we’ve been exposed to Angie Mentink, Ryan Rowland-Smith, and Dave Valle’s TV analysis for almost a month, I realize he’s been more than that for me. 

    Whenever CJ and I weren’t forgoing ballgames to, instead, play Yu-Gi-Oh on the floor of my childhood living room, or poorly freestyle to the latest Earl Sweatshirt instrumental, Mike’s voice was a consistent summer comfort that perpetually permeated into my subconscious, and a no-frills, fact of the matter cornerstone of reason during plenty of seasons where frills were few and far between and facts (rather than false hopes) needed to be heard.

    Good broadcasting is crucial *and undervalued* in nearly every sport— but in a game where you are exposed to it practically everyday for 6-7 months, the role they play seems to hold significantly more weight when compared to others whether you are aware of it or not. And when you compound that with the 17 seasons worth of commentary Blowers provided, it’s easy to see how proliferating his presence ended up being for the fan base.

    I would be remiss to leave out the fact that Mike was also a significant contributor to the Mariners’ success in the early to mid-nineties. On a star studded 1993 roster, Blowers put up 3.1 WAR on the back of a .280 BA. In ’95 he produced 96 RBI with 23 homers in 134 games. After a few stints with LA and Oakland, Mike retired a Mariner in 1999 and it warms my heart that he was there for the return to play-off baseball in Seattle in 2022.

    Most people’s most vivid memory of Mike Blowers might be his oracle-like “pick-to-click” prediction on Matt Tuiasasopo’s first home run as a Mariner, followed by Dave Niehaus’s iconic commentary upon its coming true— but for me, my favorite Mike memories will always be something like faintly hearing his voice while drifting into a high-school-aged induced couch nap on a Sunday day game as Logan Morrison strikes out for a 3rd time during a forgettable, mid-season 1-0 loss on Felix Day.

    Cheers,

    Noah

  • Three Losses to the Giants and One Giant Loss (3-7)

    Three Losses to the Giants and One Giant Loss (3-7)

    In Sunny San Francisco—

    The Ms drop their second consecutive series of the season Sunday despite a heroic catch by Victor Robles in the 9th. 

    Vic’s Webgem worthy display of athleticism promptly devolved into collective worry as his warped body awkwardly worked its way out of the webbing of the right field foul net. 

    Robles (27), who ~for the sake of theatrics~ routinely embellishes situations that may or may not have actually caused him serious physical harm immediately prompted those I was watching with, and perhaps others who are familiar with his shenanigans, to reactively gasp “he’s okay…” — After a beat, it was immediately evident that he was not.

    As play stopped tied 4-4 in the bottom of the 9th, his outfield office-mates rushed to check on him before he was ultimately carted off the diamond gingerly holding his left wrist and obviously in a lot of pain. After the game a nervously mumbling Dan Wilson mentioned that it may actually be his shoulder under concern and that we’d know more tomorrow after further imaging.

    The next pitch Wilmer Flores singled into shallow right field to walk-it-off for the Giants.

    In a game where it felt like we desperately needed a win— after an 11th inning heart breaker on Friday and a Robbie Ray revenge L Saturday, a game where Cal & Julio both went deep early to give Woo some rare room to work with against his childhood team— all we were left with was insult to injury.

    So what happens now?

    I’ll keep my thoughts fairly short tonight— partly because it’s hard to be motivated to write about this team right now, and partly because I want to save some bullets for a column in the works for next week. So, three things right now:

    1. I could be wrong, but it seems like Vic is going to be out for an extended period of time. All signs point to Dom Canzone taking his place in right field for the time being. I like Dom, I hope he can show some consistency while he gets another shot to shine. Against opposing lefty starters my guess would be that D-Mo gets the nod in the OF and we cross our fingers that Polanco’s arm doesn’t disintegrate.

    2. We come home tomorrow to play series against division rivals Houston and Texas. The old adage is that there aren’t any must win games/series in April but it sure does feel like if we can’t scrape at least one series win and avoid a sweep in the other, then I’ll be eating my bat tape as mentioned in Thursday’s post.

    3. Okay, bear with me. I have an overwhelmingly emotional take right now and it’s about Dan Wilson. Personally, I’ve never been one to point fingers at managers. It’s a tough job— they aren’t the ones swinging at balls in the dirt or deciding who gets paid or not paid in the offseason. But for the love of god, Dan, PLEASE get more angry.

    During Friday’s frustrating 11th inning loss, anyone who watched until the end noticed Carlos Vargas getting inexcusably squeezed on pivotal ball and strike calls when it mattered most. Vargas who was visibly fuming at home plate ump Sean Barber appeared to be on an island as Dan remained steadfast in his frustratingly unwavering calmness.

    Arguing balls and strikes is almost always going to get a manager tossed, but I think that is exactly what the team needed in that moment. We need some fire! Dan needs to be a part of that. Hell, let’s get another 2022 Winker-esque brawl going— it seemed to work last time.

    Cheers,

    Noah

  • Between the Rock and a Bryce Place

    Between the Rock and a Bryce Place

    Welcome to Terrace Club Blues, and the First Off-Day of the Season (3-4)

    In the weeks leading up to opening day I internally debated whether or not I was going to try and write about the 2025 Mariners.

    As a South Puget Sound native born in ‘97, who played/watched way more baseball in the first 12 years of a kid’s life than should be legally allowed, who was forced to watch the broadcasted demolition of the Kingdome (for, idk, sentimental reasons?), and who occasionally takes pride in being okay at communicating with words— the prospect seemed all-too-teed up. Baseball, specifically Mariners baseball, and writing, specifically creative writing, is my comfort corner.

    But, like any reasonable 28-year-old who is also trying to be a present friend, boyfriend, employee, etc. and who doesn’t think they are the center of the universe, the questions of “would this really be worth my time?”, and “why would anyone care to read words I write about baseball?” kept me close to the bag— and ultimately, I decided not to write about the team this year. After all, I have a demanding day job I care about deeply that brings me a different kind of comfort, and in exchange keeps me away from home and off streaming services for long hours and requires me to miss almost every Saturday and Sunday game.

    Err— rather, I did have a demanding day job that does those things.

    I was laid-off from my dream gig last week unexpectedly. So for now— when I philosophize about “what my time is worth”, or “what people think about my work” I really, really couldn’t give a fuck. But, as cheese-bally as it sounds, impending misery and all, I do give a fuck about the Mariners— even when sometimes I really wish I didn’t.

    In that spirit I’ve decided to let it rip this season and I hope anyone who graciously reads along can find some bits of comfort in this as much as I do.

    Okay, so what the hell is going on??

    I guess we kinda know what is going on. Don’t we?

    Gray-haired-man, Jerry, Justin & the gang decided to “run it back” with basically the same exact team in ‘25 as in ‘24. The same team that nearly struck out more times in a season than any team has in the history of baseball. The same team that consistently struggled to put more than 2 runs on the scoreboard night in and night out (sans the wildly hot hair-up-their ass the club seems to get every August). The same team that spins it with the best of them and serves up quality starts like the team literally depends on such a fickle, baseball-y, made-up stat for any chance to dance after 9 (sorry Logan).

    We knew the writing was on the wall the whole time, so the disappointingly anemic start to 2025, on the heels of a frigidly uneventful winter, comes as no surprise to any of us. Yet that doesn’t really make it hurt any less. I would go as far to say, sometimes when you know something is coming, it makes it feel even worse when the shoe eventually drops. But baseball is weird, and in a 162 game season there are a lot of shoes. As lame as it is— I have to mirror J at J’s Trident’s (an inspiration of mine, good job man) sentiment that we have to give it a month before absolutely turning our hopes out to pasture. 

    We can come to some conclusions, like how Rowdy Tellez isn’t going to be our DH answer, or that Emerson Hancock is what we all thought he was, a very fringe big league pitcher who’s capable of having a few good starts in the show every now and then. But we can’t lose all hope yet. We can keep our expectations low— we can assume this is going to be another Mariner’s team who is decent enough to stay in the hunt but not good enough to win the division, but we can’t and shouldn’t lose all hope yet. If we’re 9-19 after April, I’ll eat my bat tape and do some soul-searching, but for now, we have to resist the urge to be Reddit degenerates (yes, I know it’s “fun” and that “it’s not that serious bro”). The communal agony is appreciated, the unaccountable and anonymous nihilism makes me want to yell at clouds.

    Anyway, it was nice to scrape a win against Skubal yesterday. That doesn’t make up for the less-than-mediocre offensive performance we’ve seen, but it’s a consolation that I will take anytime. So after 7 games, and an underwhelming opening homestand here are a few brief thoughts and one central take.

    1. Gabe Speier looks great. Will be huge for us if he can continue to be nails until Brash is cleared and healthy. If he can consistently put up good numbers against righties, he could be a legitimate set-up man for the time being and an important piece throughout the season regardless.

    2. Tellez, Garver & Bliss look lost at the plate. I mean, I could put a lot of guys on this list, but their at bats look the worst to me. At Least Bliss is playing serviceable defense in the meantime, and I have a (very small) sliver of hope that Garver can turn it around, but other than that— it doesn’t look good.

    3. Muney, that sweet, sweet, adorable, sicko. We know what kind of Muney we’re getting that day after 2 pitches. Sometimes his control is just not there at all. Somehow, despite any shakiness, his stuff is just so off the charts nasty that he can houdini it on any given night. I love Muney, he might be my favorite M, and his cat is so adorably ugly, so I’ll probably talk about him alot, but man does he scare the absolute shit out of me.

    One Central Take:

    It’s not exactly the anemic offense in itself that is the most frustrating thing to suffer through when watching the 2025 Mariners so far— it’s the optics of watching the anemic offense struggle so badly. If I didn’t happen to watch every game and only checked the box score, I’d think “hmm, they are having a really hard time at the plate and pitching is keeping them in games”. But when you actually see the at bats they just look terrible. It’s an awful product to watch so far. If I was Nintendo, I’d be trying to get my patch deal back, because nobody can even begin to perceive the un-welcomed, red eyesores when such obviously terrible approaches are searing blindspots into all of our retinas.

    But I mean it when I say a month. In the meantime, let’s talk soon.

    Cheers,

    Noah